Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Dreaded Diet......

I have come to the conclusion, that no matter how determined you might be, the stress that comes from being a mommy of an infant and a six year old is enough to cause major set backs in a person's diet.  We are now 2 1/2 months into my diet.  I am down 3 pounds.  Not where I wanted to be, but I will take anything.  Before my pregnancy, I wore a size 16 (10 before my daughter).  Now, I am ashamed to say I am wearing a size 22 (although a 22 is pretty baggy, but my butt won't allow a 20 to fit over it!).  My goal for the end of this summer....to be able to fit into at least an 18.  I think this would help with some self confidence issues I am having right now, and will help push me to loose more weight. 
Now for the personal stuff....being the biggest I have ever been has put a lot on me.  It is harder for me to move around, I'm embarrassed, ashamed, and the biggest issue.....my husband.  When we first met, I was half the size I am today.  Everyday I have the same thoughts......Why is he still here?......Is he ashamed too?.....Is he looking at other women wishing he had a woman like that?  Being unhappy with your body opens up a whole world of issues.  For my sanity, my health, my confidence, and possibly my marriage......I will continue to watch what I eat, and possibly work harder at achieving my ultimate goal. 

3 down, 97 to go.

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