The Key to Happiness.....

They say communication is the most important ting to a healthy relationship.  But what happens when communicating is the most difficult thing you could do?  Many of us let things bottle up inside, never releasing the built up tension, pain, anger, or emotion.  This can't be healthy!  My husband is my best friend, my lover, my rock, and the one person I can trust with anything.  So why is it that sometimes I find it hard to tell him exactly what's on my mind?  So many emotions and thoughts going through my mind everyday.  But how to share them?  So many emotions....envy, love, confusion....oh the human mind!  How do you tell the man you love that you long for romantic gestures, a relationship with your father, a dream wedding.  I hold my feelings in sometimes thinking that if I complained about what I don't have, what I do have could end.  Communication isn't the key to a healthy relationship, it's vital for a healthy heart and soul.  Even if it is between you and your keyboard......communication is the key to happiness.

The Dreaded Diet......

I have come to the conclusion, that no matter how determined you might be, the stress that comes from being a mommy of an infant and a six year old is enough to cause major set backs in a person's diet.  We are now 2 1/2 months into my diet.  I am down 3 pounds.  Not where I wanted to be, but I will take anything.  Before my pregnancy, I wore a size 16 (10 before my daughter).  Now, I am ashamed to say I am wearing a size 22 (although a 22 is pretty baggy, but my butt won't allow a 20 to fit over it!).  My goal for the end of this summer....to be able to fit into at least an 18.  I think this would help with some self confidence issues I am having right now, and will help push me to loose more weight. 
Now for the personal stuff....being the biggest I have ever been has put a lot on me.  It is harder for me to move around, I'm embarrassed, ashamed, and the biggest issue.....my husband.  When we first met, I was half the size I am today.  Everyday I have the same thoughts......Why is he still here?......Is he ashamed too?.....Is he looking at other women wishing he had a woman like that?  Being unhappy with your body opens up a whole world of issues.  For my sanity, my health, my confidence, and possibly my marriage......I will continue to watch what I eat, and possibly work harder at achieving my ultimate goal. 

3 down, 97 to go.